Dream a Little Dream of Me

 "Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky." 

If you haven't heard of Melody Gardot, you simply must take a listen below. Lovely jazz.

Melody Gardot, Goodnight  

 

"While you slumber, in case you ever wonder, if a summer breeze just brushed your cheek know it's me."

"Live by the sun, Love by the moon."

Take a moment to gaze at the sky; at the stars, at the moon, at the pink city haze looming above...appreciate the music of nighttime.

Goodnight room, Goodnight moon. 

Goodnight cow jumping over the moon.

Goodnight light and the red balloon. 

Goodnight bears, Goodnight chairs.

Goodnight kittens, Goodnight mittens. 

Goodnight clocks and Goodnight socks.

Goodnight little house and Goodnight mouse. 

Goodnight comb and Goodnight brush.

Goodnight nobody, Goodnight mush. 

And Goodnight to the old lady whispering "hush".

Goodnight stars, Goodnight air, Goodnight noises everywhere.

Feels Like Rain

"Unless it is Mad, Passionate, Extraordinary Love, it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them." 
Mediocre, adjective
1. of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate. 
Antonyms: Extraordinary, superior, uncommon, incomparable.

This quote, when applied broadly, really seems to resonate with my life these days. I keep reminding myself of all the times I've heard, "Never settle for less than what you deserve." Yet, what do I deserve? What do we all deserve? What guidelines dictate what each and everyone of us deserves in life? Is is a pure heart? Compassion? Courage? Buddha's eightfold path of right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration? 

I had a dispute earlier in the summer and one of the comments really stuck with me. "You act like you're a princess, like you deserve something more." Now, in that moment the princess reference was very insulting, seeing as how he was implying that I expect things to be handed to me on a silver platter or as if I think nothing is ever good enough (neither of which could be farther from the truth) . But now as I look back on that conversation, it reminds me of the whole 'never settle' mantra.  I want to go back in time to that night and say, "Yes, you're right. I DO deserve something more." If there's one thing my daddy taught me when I was growing up, it's that I am a special young girl and I deserve to be treated as such. And by golly, if that's too much to ask for in a relationship, then so be it. 

We may not know what it is that we deserve (or want for that matter) and we may not find that incomparable love today, tomorrow, or next week, but I am certain that it is out there. 

And it will be nothing short than sensational. 

 

 

 

 

Many the Miles

"The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities; but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us, and though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden." 

 

It's been 42 days since I've seen the mountains.
Inhaled that wonderful humidity-free air.
Since I've felt that glorious Colorado sunshine, warming me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.
Since I left the life I built for myself the past four years.
Since I left those who help me make sense of this world, those who keep me grounded, those who understand my point of view, those who share my enthusiasm for life, for the everyday.

Talking to an old friend really does show you how much you've changed. I find myself feeling a little unsure, a little uncomfortable around some of the people who have been in my life for as long as I can remember. The people who know my history, my family, my most sensitive insecurities...It's not that I'm unhappy with who I've become or anything like that, but it's that I'm finally starting to realize how much I have changed over the years and how they have not.

Trying to recapture the love that once was in a friendship makes for a very bumpy road, to say the least. Even admitting that things have changed with a beloved old friend proves to be pretty dang difficult for me, as I tend to pride myself on my ability to maintain friendships despite distance. I've done a pretty good job of it over the years, keeping up with all of my childhood friends below the Mason-Dixon line, while simultaneously cultivating new friendships out at school in CO. Right now it seems that those are the ones that are salient to this older version of myself, which makes for pretty heart wrenching moments throughout the day.

10 more days. 10 more days and I get to see one of those very special individuals who, surprisingly, helps make me, me.