"Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them- a mother's approval, a father's nod- are covered by moments of their own accomplishments." - Mitch Albom
It's interesting, the relationship between a parent and a child. Especially after 4 glasses of vino. More so after that child has grown (in more ways than one) and cultivates their own opinions, their own set of beliefs, their own morals, their own political views. While it may be hard for some parents to adjust, I like to believe that they eventually do. That they eventually learn how to accept their child for who they are, instead of fretting about who they
think they should be. What's that age old expression? "Things don't always turn out quite like what you had planned?" Or something of the sort? It's true. Especially when growing older is involved. Children don't always act like they're supposed to, dogs don't always listen when called, and muffins don't always turn out perfect when using a recipe. But 'tis life, right? Our reaction to the situation at hand is what matters, even if we don't always think it does.
My father stands as one of
the most steadfast Right-winged Christians that I know and (gasp) raised a daughter who made up her mind at the age of 13 to leave this godforsaken town simply to escape the judgmental, Southern Baptist, "honey you should come to church with me on Wednesday" people. You know who I am talking about, those mothers who look like they had one-too-many trips to the tween department in Dillards and simply would
never miss a football game, basketball game, baseball game, soccer game, track meet, (because those are the only sports that matter in the South) graduation, booster-club meeting, or any other chance to flaunt their new Coach bag and White-Rain hairdo.
I'm gagging just remembering what they were like. Thankfully, this older version of myself now knows that the majority of them suffer from severe depression and mix Grey Goose with their Xanax because they've internalized their unhappiness and buried it somewhere deep-down beneath their kitchen in suburbia.
Anyways, back to my super duper Conservative Teabagging (the newest development) of a father.
Basically, I had to explain to my over-bearing padre (who some like to say resembles a psycho ex-boyfriend with his never ending calls, texts, emails, etc. ) that I do not and will not side with the Republican party. Not only that, but I do not appreciate his hyper-Conservative emails regarding "Teaparty meetings at 7 at town hall," as well as the ignorant, insulting, and downright
irrelevant emails about "halal meat" and how I should beware. Here's a little quote from the latter, "Since Islam teaches dishonesty (taqiyyah) and no regard for one's neighbor, this kind of sickening behavior is standard." I kid you not. That shit was in the email. Ummmm excuse me? Since I didn't believe one word of the forward from some dumbshit in Redneckville, AR, I did a little research. For those of you who also did not know what
taqiyyah means, it is defined as, "to save life, honour, or property (either one's own or of other believers) by hiding one's belief or religion." AKA not what the email insinuated.
Long story sorta short?
You can't change people. No matter how hard you try. I guess I'm saying this for all the parents out there who disagree with their children, their lifestyle choices, their opinions. You have to experience and examine the world yourself, so why try and stop others from doing so? Sure, I understand that you want them to make the 'right' decisions and choose the 'right' path, but remember, everything is subjective. And while some parents might believe that by pushing their own beliefs on their children will change them or help them in some way, I'd like to point out that that is rarely the case. Give 'em a chance to think for themselves. Give 'em a chance to utilize the knowledge they've gained throughout their lives, to make their own mistakes. And remember how much more you learned from your own personal mishaps then those of others.
It's like how I remind my parents everyday, "So what if I'm a liberal feminist? I'm not pregnant. I don't have a meth problem. I'm not a pothead. I don't smoke crack. I know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' And I graduated in 4 years. I think you did a fine job."
Generational differences reside at the core of disagreements in my family today and I'm sure the same goes for others. So be sure to take that into consideration if your child grows up a little differently than what you had planned. Please. Come on man, it's not 1950. Haven't you realized that more women are wearing watches now that they can't always rely on the oven?
"I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't." -Stephen Chbosky
